So, Facebook, What Are You Trying to Tell Me?

On the little "Highlights" sidebar on my home page, there has been a thing up for the last couple days now about the boy I like being single. Clearly facebook is trying to get in on this whole motivate-Katie-to-be-a-big-girl movement. Okay, facebook, I get it! I'm just trying to find a moment when I'm not with him and several other people around to make my move. I almost said something yesterday, even though there were a goodly number of people with us at the time. Ah well. Okay, moment over. Gots to get ready. (That extraneous "s" is on purpose)

Peace.

Dashed Off

This is just a little post (or should be) to update things quickly. I'm trying to think of the most logical starting point, and all I can think of is the delicious breakfast I briefly abandoned in the microwave. The walk there and back should get me ready to go. Hold on.

Okay, breakfasting. It seems the logical commencement to this post, actually. I'm having leftovers from the awesome meal I made last night. Dessert has become breakfast, the logical transition of any fruit-based dessert. I do blog about food and how making great food makes me feel accomplished and grownup, etc. so it has a definite place here. Last night was my first big roommate dinner, plus we had company. Our friend Marc is a frequent guest, and I enjoy having him come over and eat our food. I made pork spareribs (in the crock pot...), baked beans, potato salad, and a fruit crisp (blueberries, peaches, white nectarines; or, my fruit in the fridge). Oh, and I made up a bottle of iced tea. It was delicious. I served brown sugar ice cream with the crisp, since there was brown sugar in the topping. Making a great meal and feeding other people is one of my favorite things in the world, and it was wonderful to do it again. This is going to be an excellent chapter in my life.

After the dinner I joined a couple friends at UCB for "facebook". It was hilarious. Afterward, I was walking with a friend to our respective cars, and I told her of my crush (like people didn't see that coming). She told me how great he is, of course. I was thinking about it later, and the universal response of everyone who knows him, upon hearing I like him, is that he is wonderful. I already think that, but it's great to hear it from unbiased sources, some of whom know him better than I do at this point. It makes me think way, way back to a class from freshman year of college, where one of the things we discussed as ways to test the goodness of something is to listen to the voice of the community. I'm not necessarily saying that it means more than that I've made a good choice, but I'd rather hear how great he is than get a questioning look followed by a highly unenthusiastic "Really?" I've known girls who would have avoided a lot of heartbreak had someone told them right away that the guy they were pursuing (or who was pursuing them) had some dangerous habits or a history of leading girls on only to crush them later.

I still haven't told him, although there was an incident recently when he almost overheard me talking about liking him. That would have been about a million times more awkward than me just telling him directly. I'm still working on that.

I feel like the most important part of my life is getting short shrift in the last few posts. I am so grateful for the way that God has been providing for me and blessing me lately. That isn't to say that my life is perfect, because it certainly isn't, but it is good. Let me quote a little Paul to you all: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Phil. 4.12). I am content, all the time. That's a good thing. It doesn't make me complacent, but it makes life a lot better if you are willing to be content instead of complaining.

Okay, got to finish getting ready and go be an employed adult.

Peace.

It Comes...

I am turning into more and more of a grownup every day, despite the fact that I live a relatively bohemian lifestyle. I share a bedroom with two other people, and am the only one of us with a steady job, yet I feel like there are other aspects to my life that are beginning to look more grownup. It's a constant refrain for this blog. Tonight's newest piece of evidence: I'm excited when I have some alone time in the apartment, not so I can lounge about or be weird, but so I can surprise my roommates by cleaning. This morning I took advantage of the fact I'm up the earliest to be able to put away some of the stuff that I recently brought over. Tonight it's about doing dishes, and maybe putting away more stuff. That's the kind of thing that excites me these days. I'm becoming a grownup in so many ways, and that's kind of okay with me. My reading of late has consisted of old issues of X-Men comics (mostly Uncanny, to be specific) and a Joan Aiken YA novel, so I'm not getting too grownup. I've also been rewatching one of the more influential films of my youth, Baz Luhrmann's William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet. In that respect, I feel like a thirteen year-old girl again when watching it, if at no other time. It's okay. I'm not a thirteen year-old any longer, and wanting to feel like that for longer than it takes to watch a movie or read a book would be unhealthy. So, I'm going to wash a few more dishes and watch a little more Leo & Claire. It's all about balance.

Peace.

Radio Silence

Greetings loyal readers. I feel like I ought to explain my radio silence of the last week, because its origins are probably not what you've been thinking, thanks to the last couple of posts.

I still have not told the guy I like how I feel. I saw him more than once since the last post, and never actually got a chance to talk to him alone. I am hoping that the opportunity arises soon, because I am tired of pining and just want to know what my next step is. That isn't the real reason for lack of posting. The real deal is that I've been crazy busy.

In the last five days I've moved and started a new job. This is the first time I've been online at home, on my own computer. I don't feel comfortable using my time at work to write blog posts (or anything else that pretty much just benefits me) and I didn't want to hog one of my roommates' computers to write to you all. It only occurred to me this morning that I could have written up the post as a document at home and then posted it once I got to work (since it'd only take about 30 seconds to do that). Helpful realization for later.

Since this blog is all about the process of me growing up and doing things like finding a job and getting a place to live, the fact that I did those things is worthy of a blog post. Too bad I'm kind of beat, and still have a birthday party to prep for here tonight. Oh, and more moving tomorrow.

Here's what I will say. I love both my job and my living situation. I'm so busy, I actually don't have enough time to pine like I did before. I still like the guy, but instead of taking up way too much of my time, the crush has a much more appropriate and proportional place in my life. Geez, I love working, and not just for that reason. I do really, really mean that.

Other notes on the new elements of my life: I get to commute using my own two legs and public transportation. I apply sunscreen before my morning walk/ride, and then just before I leave work, for my ride/walk. I'll be as brown as a nut by the end of summer though, despite my SPF 45. At least I won't have a Vitamin D deficiency. I feel simultaneously green and urban when I take the Metro. It's sweet. And often entertaining.

Okay, there are still errands to run and tasks to complete before the aforementioned party. I kind of promise a better post later.

Peace.

Well, It's The Weekend

I'm supposed to be telling my crush I like him sometime today or tomorrow, and am doing a good job of talking myself out of it right now. It doesn't take much for me to convince myself that he doesn't like me the same way I like him. To say that he doesn't like me would be false. We're friends. I just don't know if he, for lack of a better phrase, like likes me.

This situation does make me wonder how to tell apart the voice of fear, and that still small voice. A friend and I were talking this morning, and she was telling me about making a plan and being ready to follow through, only to hear the still small voice telling her to wait. After that, I find myself wondering how I can tell if this desire to hold my tongue is born of fear or wisdom. (That may be a 100 Portraits paraphrase, in case you were curious). I believe that my friend heard and understood correctly, but I don't know what I'm hearing. I think I so often let my fears rule me, and that I am willing to listen to them more than my own judgment, and certainly more than what God is truly saying. That's a shame. And maybe a sin too.

I am praying for wisdom for the upcoming moment wherein I might unburden my heart. I'm going to trust that wisdom will win the day. Of course, if I were to see him holding hands with another girl, or something equally obvious, my meager store of wisdom is definitely enough to realize that holding my tongue is the best choice. Otherwise, it will be about me listening and waiting to hear. That's not always an easy place to inhabit. I'm not as keen on it. However, I am keen on the food upstairs that is calling to my belly.

Peace.